But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
