it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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