I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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