one two three fourrrrnication!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
