My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
