David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
