So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
