I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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