Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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