the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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