I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
