you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
