if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
