just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
