I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
