if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
pop tarts are not kleenex
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
