At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
