i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
