Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
