You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
