But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
