How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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