There is no way he is gay with that hair.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
