pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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