This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
