you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
