i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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