I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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