He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
