Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i think i have herpe
just one?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
