I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
