You just made me feel so damn special
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
