Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
