hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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