whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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