why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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