nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can tuck mytits in my pants
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
