another moral hangover. fuck.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
