so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize