Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
