but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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