I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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