Where is the hickey?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
