just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
