I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize