I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
