Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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