who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
