3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
