What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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