Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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