Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I stole a fireplace last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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