it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I want her autograph on my taint
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
