This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
