Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
