from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
