Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
