a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
