i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
