Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
