capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
