I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize