You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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