hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
