called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
