Don't make out with my wife yet
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Less talking, more tequila
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize