I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
