I got her a Nickelback box set.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
