He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
