So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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