Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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