gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
