My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
