did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize