We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
